This is something that has surprised me... I've had a lot of people whom I haven't seen since I left 3 months ago say, "I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. How are you doing?"
Then when I start explaining how I am really doing, they get a faraway look on their face and their eyes glaze over. Sometimes they have even changed the subject mid sentence.
Thankfully, my very closest friends and family members do usually take time to listen. But now, I usually just give the standard (expected) reply, "I am fine, how are you?"
I don't know if people really don't care, can't relate or that they are afraid that hearing about my grief will touch the grief they have in their own lives. Maybe it is a mixture of all those things? I haven't gotten my feelings hurt (yet) but it is such a puzzle to me when people who normally would listen to me whine for hours on end about much less important things can only take my grief in such small doses.
Mostly I just need people to listen. Just let me say out loud what I am feeling. Don't judge me, and don't feel like I am asking for you to fix me. Somehow telling my story out loud takes the edge off the pain. Just look into my eyes, sit with me and listen.
Mom loved butterflies more than anything. Her home was full of them... I have decided that since I will soon run out of pictures of her to post, I will start collecting butterflies. Enjoy.
Tiger Swallowtail
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