Holidays - Thanksgiving

I was talking with someone recently about Thanksgiving. They had also lost a parent recently and were dreading being with the rest of the family for Thanksgiving.

Today I wish I could travel to be with my extended family for this holiday. I would like to be with them. Some of them knew my Mom even better than I did. Her brothers and sister grew up with her. I would like to share my grief with them. I wouldn't have to explain how I feel, they would just know.

My brothers understand how I feel. So does my stepdad.

Somehow it seems they connect me to her.

Today my grief feels like longing. Longing for connection. Longing for what could have been. Just longing. It is like a big empty place. I don't know how to fill it. Maybe I am not supposed to, I dunno.

Here is a butterfly that I know Mom would have loved. It was her favorite color.